Life is in deed very funny.

It often feels like a sadistic game. Like the series squid game.

The best of us never deserve half of the things that life throws at us. It's always the narcissists, gas lighters, sadists, just to mention but a few, who have the best at what life can give. If you look at these people, they always appear to have a happy go lucky attitude despite their dirty conscience. For I and a few others who try to keep a clean conscience, we always get the short end of the stick.

But such is life.

Oh Jah, I just wish I was never born. That way, my poor little boy wouldn't have found himself in this cosmic joke that is earth. 

But what can I say! We are already here. I can only hope for the best. Life was never meant to be easy but I only ask Jah for a lot of strength, patience and faith.

5 Mistakes that parents make

Being a parent is a blessing and a huge responsibility. It is up to us to shape little humans into well rounded adults. 

Ephesians 6:4 says: And fathers, do not be irritating your children, but go on bringing them up in the discipline and admonition of Jehovah.

Colossians 3:21 says: You fathers, do not be exasperating your children, so that they do not become downhearted.

Here are some mistakes that parents make as they raise their children. Ofcourse some of them could be well meaning but they end up producing the opposite results.

1. Being too critical 

We are all human beings and by that, no one is perfect. Moreover, people have their own way of doings things. As a parent, if you are always criticizing your child for small mistakes or how they like to do their things, you're teaching them that they're not good enough and that will lead to low self esteem or always doubting themselves before they attempt to do something. 

2. Micromanaging

Are you always behind your child's shoulder observing and controlling everything they do? If you do, you need to stop because you're teaching them not to be independent. Let them make their own decisions and figure their way out through things in life. 

3. Comparing

It isn't such a good feeling to be compared to someone else. If you're always comparing your child, either directly or indirectly, to other children or siblings, you're teaching them that they are not worth it and that there is something wrong with them. You might think that making comparative statements will make them act in your ideal way but you're only making them grow into angry and resentful people.

4. Not setting time for relaxation or enjoyment

If you don't set time for relaxation or enjoyment, you'll end up being tired and grumpy. You'll also have no time to bond with your child. If you don't bond with your child, they will grow up detached from you.

5. Not listening

Being older doesn't necessarily mean you are always right. It's wise to listen to your child's opinions and thoughts. This will foster a good relationship between the two of you as your child will feel loved, valued and heard. They will also not be hesitant to come to you incase they have a problem.

The challenges I've experienced being a first time mum

Being a mum is quite fulfilling but it also comes with it's own set of challenges. Here are some of the difficulties I've faced the past one year of parenting:

1. Exhaustion 

It's not so easy to run a home and also take good care of a little human being. It takes alot of energy, sacrifice and time management. 

One might think that being a stay at home mum is equivalent to lazying around all day but that's not the case. This is because there are always things to be done around the house eg cleaning the dishes, doing laundry, mopping the floors and wiping surfaces, cooking etc. You have to do all those things and still ensure the overall wellness of a clingy and yet adventurous little human being. This includes; feeding him, giving him baths, changing his Diapers or clothes, sunbathing him, playing with him, soothing him for naps etc.

Therefore, being a mum is a full time job. By the end of the day, I hardly get a chance to relax because even at night, the baby can wake up a gazillion times to breastfeed.

At the end of it all, I feel physically, emotionally and mentally drained because even taking a shower has become a luxury. What makes me feel better is knowing that my baby is in the safest hands (me), I've been there through all his milestones and I get to bond more with him.

2. Feeling inadequate.

It hasn't been an easy transition from living alone and being financially independent to staying at home 24/7 with no job. Even engaging in my hobbies such as writing, cooking, watching movies, listening to music and going out has been very difficult. 

It's not easy being stuck at home with no financial income. What can compound this feeling of inadequacy is having some people around you think that you're just in your comfort zone. 

Well, I have applied for numerous jobs with no luck, I have even tried starting up businesses such as selling Pishori Rice and Baked goods but with low returns. However, I'm still not giving up yet and everyday I come across quotes on how we should be accepting of our current situations. I mean, you might be doing your best to get out of a situation but some things can only happen until God says so. I have learnt to accept and appreciate my current situation. When the right time comes for my breakthrough, I will be unstoppable.

3. Loneliness.

Spending all your days at home doing the same things over and over again can get quite lonely. The friends you used to hang out with sort of forget you and get busy with their own lives. This is understandable because your interests have shifted. You're now a parent and they maybe not. 

The only thing that gives me comfort is that feeling of fulfillment when I take care of my baby's needs and see a beautiful smile curve on his lips or hear his infectious laughter. 

4. Body changes.

Being pregnant and giving birth changes a woman's body. Your boobs may become bigger and saggy from breastfeeding, you might also be left with a bigger tummy and your hips get fuller. Being a stay at home mum does not also make this changes easier to readjust. 

However, as much as I may detest some of this changes I have come to accept that they're what it took to have my precious gift and I wouldn't want it any other way. 

5. Unsolicited advice. 

I have made plenty of choices which I won't divulge into, and some people felt that they have an opinion on them. 

Also, like other moms I have encountered people giving me unsolicited advice about parenting or baby's milestones. This can be irritating sometimes but all I can say is that there is no formula for parenting and as a mother, I do what I feel in my gut is best for my baby, for myself and for my family. 

Those are some of the challenges I've faced as a first time mum. However, as much as they have weighed me down at one point or another, I feel blessed and happy to be with my little champ everyday and to see him grow tremendously right under my nose.