As I stated in an earlier article on this blog, pregnancy or motherhood is the happiest reason for any aspiring mother to feel like crap. Personally, I wouldn't trade it for anything. That's not to mean that it has been easy.
Most people undermine just how difficult pregnancy and adjusting into motherhood can be. Especially when you don't have enough support. My pregnancy journey was smooth except for the normal discomfort such as fatigue and anxiety.
Despite having a smooth pregnancy, when my labor started, it was unprogressive. It lasted for three days. Well, it started as mild cramping that transformed in to full on labour. Eventually, I had to be taken in for an emergency Cs.
There have been so many myths and misconceptions about Cs that when the doctor told me, I had to go through it, I instantly felt inadequate.
Most people think that having the surgery instead of a normal birth is the easy way out. It's not. First, it may take about six to eight weeks to heal completely. In the meantime, there's not much one can do; even taking a flight of stairs can be hazardous. Secondly, even when the incision is healed, complications can as well arise.
Moreover, not many people realize this but having a Cs instead of a normal delivery can leave most women if not all, feeling inadequate. That's how I felt and sometimes those feelings still linger. Like, I did not get to feel the full pain of giving birth and push my baby out. That is how it's supposed to be. That is how God had intended it to be. I didn't feel like a full woman.
I kept wondering, didn't I exercise enough, didn't I eat well enough or did I exert myself so much that I had to go through the surgery? I did not feel accomplished despite labouring for hours on end. However, I understood that, that was what was best for my baby. It was fate and there was nothing I could do to change it. The surgery went well and my baby was born healthy.
I thought that was it. I had my baby and life could continue from where I had left off. I was wrong. No one ever tells you how draining and life changing motherhood can be. It's a beautiful thing but it's still difficult.
I remember having unexplained feelings the first few weeks. It's like I was in a different world. I was trying hard not to be stressed or fall into postpartum depression. I would at times miss my pregnant self but still be greatful I had my son there with me.
Then there is the sleeplessness because the baby wakes up every one or two hours to feed or to just be held. There is also the anxiety of being a first time mum. I remember being so scared of shutting my eyes to sleep and not watch over my delicate little baby. On the other hand, I was scared that if I didnt sleep enough, I would eventually black out and smother my baby or leave him to cry helplessly. However, this is not to mean that every little worry a new mom has should be taken lightly.
Most people might think that what I have written here has already been said and done one too many times. I may sound like a broken record but I think that it is something worth reminding people about; The price of motherhood and the support and respect we need to give to mothers. Well, each woman has their own story; some horrid and some joyful ones but at the end of the day, every mother needs unconditional love and support as they journey through the new phase.
No one is born knowing how to be a mother. I can attest that knowing how to nature your child is something you learn on the job. Moreover, it's an endeavour that requires maximum support otherwise, a woman is likely to lose her head or not bond well with her little bundle.
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